I have learned that we all go along in our lives viewing the world through our own lens, until something really rocks your world (whatever big change or stressful event it may be) and you get a new perspective. So this post has a little to do with some perspectives I have gained.
Today I decided that even though I wasn't able to compete in Women of Steel (WOS) triathlon, I would go and support two of my sisters on their first triathlon, and also many new great friends I have made through a triathlon group I am a part of, Triple Threat Triathletes (TTT). It was nice to be a spectator and experience the thrill of the race second-hand. And I was truly so excited to see my friends and family compete and cheer them on. My kids made it even more fun as Madi cheerfully had us make 18 signs and cheer everyone on (she was so excited to see one of her swim coaches on the bike part).
BUT my negative self-talk and perception of certain events of the day have kind of put me in a stupor. And as I reflect on each of the incidences, I'm sure that none of the people meant to be unkind or hurtful with any of the comments. The first was a series of comments about the fact that I didn't compete. SO I have been training enough for it, that wasn't why I didn't compete. There were several BIG stressors in our life, some planned, others unforeseen that kept me from competing.
Also, we passed by a guy in a tutu advertising a mudrun and he said I should do it and I could even just walk it. I know he probably says that to a lot of people, but the extra 5-10 pounds I have put on lately on top of the extra 80+ pounds I have been carrying around for the past 5+ years makes me read everything as a comment on my size. I usually try not to, but am sensitive to it. I am learning to love what my body can do even at a larger size, and I am working on the why I stress eat (both through journaling, my own research and working on and off with two great counselors). It will happen and the more I try to make it happen and get frustrated at the slowness of the speed the worse I feel, so I am trying to make peace with it.
Anyway- to the title- I am realizing this is only a season of my life. A season where my kids are little and that will pass oh too quickly. I know many people balance so much with young kids, but I find I can't balance more than I already am: starting a preschool, hiring 4 new teachers, doing interviews, training said teachers, enrolling 40 new students, revising and changing some of the curriculum I have spent the past 2 years developing, holding a church calling, being a good wife, friend, sister, etc, etc, and that doesn't even begin to touch on the farm. OH the farm... . So this season means that while I love the training and meeting new WONDERFUL people in the process. Right now signing up for a triathlon or two a year will help motivate me to train more and get me out of bed when I don't want to. But right now I am in a season that I cannot do too many races. And that is okay with me- which is the only person that really matters in respect to competitive events.
But the nice thing about seasons of life, they often change quickly and sometimes more quickly than we know. So here's to my current season of life and also a celebration of other people's hard-earned, heavy-loaded race seasons. May we all have the success, enjoyment, fun and peace that we deserve.
Also, we passed by a guy in a tutu advertising a mudrun and he said I should do it and I could even just walk it. I know he probably says that to a lot of people, but the extra 5-10 pounds I have put on lately on top of the extra 80+ pounds I have been carrying around for the past 5+ years makes me read everything as a comment on my size. I usually try not to, but am sensitive to it. I am learning to love what my body can do even at a larger size, and I am working on the why I stress eat (both through journaling, my own research and working on and off with two great counselors). It will happen and the more I try to make it happen and get frustrated at the slowness of the speed the worse I feel, so I am trying to make peace with it.
Anyway- to the title- I am realizing this is only a season of my life. A season where my kids are little and that will pass oh too quickly. I know many people balance so much with young kids, but I find I can't balance more than I already am: starting a preschool, hiring 4 new teachers, doing interviews, training said teachers, enrolling 40 new students, revising and changing some of the curriculum I have spent the past 2 years developing, holding a church calling, being a good wife, friend, sister, etc, etc, and that doesn't even begin to touch on the farm. OH the farm... . So this season means that while I love the training and meeting new WONDERFUL people in the process. Right now signing up for a triathlon or two a year will help motivate me to train more and get me out of bed when I don't want to. But right now I am in a season that I cannot do too many races. And that is okay with me- which is the only person that really matters in respect to competitive events.
But the nice thing about seasons of life, they often change quickly and sometimes more quickly than we know. So here's to my current season of life and also a celebration of other people's hard-earned, heavy-loaded race seasons. May we all have the success, enjoyment, fun and peace that we deserve.