Why "Taking Care of Me?"

April 16, 2011 marked a new starting point for me. My sweet husband surprised me with a trip to a health spa, Fitness Ridge to be exact. It was literally life-changing, but didn't have the immediate results I, and I presume everyone else, expected to see. We watch The Biggest Loser and are amazed by their quick transformations and think- finally a difficult yet good way to finally lose the weight. Don't get me wrong I did start losing weight, but more importantly I started the journey to taking better care of me. That gift, when I remember to apply it, has been so vital in changing so many aspects of my life. Taking care of ourselves doesn't always look like spas, facials and massages. Rather it looks more like taking the time to cut those vegetables; getting a little less sleep to make it to the early morning spin class; taking the 5-10 minutes to pray and meditate at the end of the day. All because these things are really what taking care of ourselves look like.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Seasons of my Life

A little background information, I think that life teaches a series of lessons and some recent changes in my life are part of that: Giving birth to baby number 2 and within 4 months packing up our house and packing 6 suitcases for our family of four to live out of while Luke did graduate school in England and his graduate research study immediately following it in England - which was wonderful but involved LONG flights and over 8 different "moves" in 8 months while I was trying to understand why I was feeling so down.  Next we moved back onto a 30 acre produce farm (aka garden),  then gave birth to my 3rd and experienced worse postpartum depression than I had with my second (which I didn't think was possible).  It got pretty bad, like to the point of sitting on my kitchen floor with 28 ambiens in my hand ready to end it all- luckily it has been 14 months since that extreme low and the lows since then haven't been anywhere near that bad.

I have learned that we all go along in our lives viewing the world through our own lens, until something really rocks your world (whatever big change or stressful event it may be) and you get a new perspective.  So this post has a little to do with some perspectives I have gained.

Today I decided that even though I wasn't able to compete in Women of Steel (WOS) triathlon, I would go and support two of my sisters on their first triathlon, and also many new great friends I have made through a triathlon group I am a part of, Triple Threat Triathletes (TTT).  It was nice to be a spectator and experience the thrill of the race second-hand.  And I was truly so excited to see my friends and family compete and cheer them on.   My kids made it even more fun as Madi cheerfully had us make 18 signs and cheer everyone on (she was so excited to see one of her swim coaches on the bike part). 

BUT my negative self-talk and perception of certain events of the day have kind of put me in a stupor.  And as I reflect on each of the incidences, I'm sure that none of the people meant to be unkind or hurtful with any of the comments.  The first was a series of comments about the fact that I didn't compete.  SO I have been training enough for it, that wasn't why I didn't compete.  There were several BIG stressors in our life, some planned, others unforeseen that kept me from competing.

 Also, we passed by a guy in a tutu advertising a mudrun and he said I should do it and I could even just walk it.  I know he probably says that to a lot of people, but the extra 5-10 pounds I have put on lately on top of the extra 80+ pounds I have been carrying around for the past 5+ years makes me read everything as a comment on my size.  I usually try not to, but am sensitive to it.  I am learning to love what my body can do even at a larger size, and I am working on the why I stress eat (both through journaling, my own research and working on and off with two great counselors).  It will happen and the more I try to make it happen and get frustrated at the slowness of the speed the worse I feel, so I am trying to make peace with it.

Anyway- to the title- I am realizing this is only a season of my life.  A season where my kids are little and that will pass oh too quickly.  I know many people balance so much with young kids, but I find I can't balance more than I already am: starting a preschool, hiring 4 new teachers, doing interviews, training said teachers, enrolling 40 new students, revising and changing some of the curriculum I have spent the past 2 years developing, holding a church calling, being a good wife, friend, sister, etc, etc, and that doesn't even begin to touch on the farm. OH the farm... .  So this season means that while I love the training and meeting new WONDERFUL people in the process.  Right now signing up for a triathlon or two a year will help motivate me to train more and get me out of bed when I don't want to.  But right now I am in a season that I cannot do too many races.  And that is okay with me- which is the only person that really matters in respect to competitive events.

But the nice thing about seasons of life, they often change quickly and sometimes more quickly than we know.  So here's to my current season of life and also a celebration of other people's hard-earned, heavy-loaded race seasons.  May we all have the success, enjoyment, fun and peace that we deserve.


  1. I loved this post, thanks for being so honest and open. You are amazing and your season will come! Love ya girl!

  2. Thank you for sharing. I completely agree. I haven't done a triathlon in over two years because it just hasn't been the right time to do one. Good luck with everything in your life.